Monday, October 13, 2008

The Tale About The Tip Toeing Native

The Tale about the Tip Toeing Native

To start off i would like to reestablish that this tale is true 100%. So it was a late sunday night and Yaseen(my Roommate) and i had just got back from playing cards at micheals girls house. So anyways we walk in and i changed in my room and went to the Bathroom and used it.... and By changed i mean i just had some shorts on and socks. No shirt shoes etc. And to my knowledge Yaseen went down stairs and used the bathroom and and changed. So then my boy and i went into the Kitchen and prepared a nice dinner together.(ETA 10:30 PM) I made some delightful chicken nuggets (only 2 min in microwave and 2 min in oven under "Broil") PS ranch and spicy mustard were the condiments of choice.(not on the same nugget but every other) And Yaseen made some roman and eggs like he has every day of his life for all three meals..... Real Talk.
So My boy and i are sitting there watching the television.Enjoying our self's when we here something coming from the bathroom.
I though to myself oh Yaseen must be using the bathroom because these noodles run straight thro him. but just to reassure myself i peek across the room to where yaseen was seated. and to my surprise. ol boy was still there. Eating his 3 packs of roman and 4 eggs on one plate.....
So i thought again. and i remembered i do have another roommate named ben. but for the last month he has been residing in newport with his folks due to money issues. So i thought Ben must be home SWEET!!! Ben is one of my best friends!!!! so i smiled and looked back expecting to see a short stocky bearded shaved head man but oh no no no ian..... this was not ben walking to the front door.
TO my surprise and astonishment There was a Native chick standing no higher then 5 foot 1 dressed like she just came from the Pow wow hood walking to my front door.
SHe had a long brade down here back and was in a sweat shirt with all kinds of weird designs on it. and little feet.
For a second i was speechless. and had no idea what to say or do. so a quick thought crossed my mind. is yaseen into native women? i glanced over and noticed his facial expression would say otherwise with a look of confusion.(he always looks confused but more so with this instance) So my head was instantly back onto the Gangsta dressed Indian girl.
"Stop..... Who are you" Spoke ian in a rather confused but stern tone
".........................." nothing from miss Pow wow
"Hello....... Who are you, what are you doing in my House?" Said ian in a not confused tone anymore but mad
the native turned around right as she reached the door.
"what are you doing in my House?" ian repeated
" I had to use your bathroom" Spoke Quite Foot
the looks on ians face is indescribable. and yaseen almost always look confused so he was normal.
so the native girl and i went back and for for a second arguing about how there was a 7'11 gas station across the street and that she should have gone there and she kept expressing how she just had to pee....... Now as another side note. i don't how how this chick got in my Crib. i recall having to use the key because the door was locked.. so i don't believe she had been there long. but we were in the house walking around the Entire time sense we got home and neither of us recall any knocks or the door opening or closing.
" How long have you been here?" Ian expressed
"?" native just moved her shoulders up and down....
"Yes you do know tell me, Did you take anything?" Ian said
"NO I JUST HAD TO PEE" the native said shocking the two handsome young men still sitting.
Then with out any warning she opens the door and rushes out. So i Sprung to my feet and Rushed after her.(Still in just socks and short shorts)
as i rush outside, standing on the porch i witnessed this girl use her Indian ways to hope the fence with ease and take off running. So being as smart as i am i ran thro the gate and took off behind her in the middle of the street.
"I ran college track you will Not out run me!" Ian yelled to miss's she who runs like the wind.
About a block down the road my many years of track had paid off and i cought up to her.(mind you its cold out in just short shorts)
"Whats in your Pockets" Ian demanded out of breath but proud he cought gone with the wind.
"NOTHIN" she spoke
"Pull your Pockets out!" i demanded again
She tried to get away but i grabbed her arm. not hard but enough to let her know she was not going anywhere.
Yaseen comes running up fully clothed and with a coat shoes laced up tight....... i don't understand why he had to go get all ready to come outside..... but i guess he seen i had it under control. Finally i got her to show her pockets. and to my surprise all she had was a lighter, smokes, 1 quarter and 2 dimes...
"What were you doing in my house if you didn't take anything?" i expressed confused and eager to here her answer.
"I had to pee" she said.
So again i went off on how there is a 7'11 across the street and you dont just walk into a strangers house to pee.
"i was in the gray truck" she said. i looked back to my pad and no truck was to be seen. so then i started to get the impression this young Indian girl was on the Peace pipe.... or crack pipe or something. i looked down and seen she was missing one of her kicks.
"Where is your shoe?" i said bewildered
"I lost in jumping your fence" she explained
"So if you did nothing wrong why would you run and not even go back for your footwear?" ian asked.
mind you this whole time she has been struggling to get away. but my strong bod would not allow it.
"Okay well you didn't take anything so come get your shoe and you can go...." ian said showing great compassion
'No i dont want it" young tip toes said
"you dont want your shoe? why are you crazy"Ian said
and Then she Bolted out of my arms and into the Darkness..........
Yaseen and i stared at each other and i said go look in your room and see if anything was taken..
we ran back. i looked in my room right by the bathroom she came out of. and on my desk still sat my ipod, camera, watch, 2 phones, money, knifes, rings, change........... all untouched.Yaseen said everything is still here.
Could this tiptoeing native really just have wanted to use the Can? Did she really not take anything? These among other Questions will never be answered. but it was a crazy night.
So i went out and took her shoe. i figured she would come back for it. but She will never get her shoe again.
Lessions are to be learned here.
A. Lock your doors at all times.
B. Stay off the Peace Pipe.
C. Tie your show Laces

-Iweb Out-

"she who creeps on light feet's" size5 in womens shoe.

Her shoe is now a trophy sitting on my Television


shaina said...

Quite the story, lil' bro. I like the shoe trophy.

Queen of Chaos said...

I'm laughing so hard, I HAVE TO GO pee now!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA This is hilarious!

Hey, it's a Cinderela story. :) Tip Toe hopes who finds her shoe will one day find her. hehe

Your blog is cool, Ian. I'm excited to get to check up with ya often.

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

kdaygirl said...

Yo E that is creepy!

Sharon said...

How did she get in?? this is so crazy, she could have at least grabbed some tooth past or something... and she didn't even knock? who is this girl, does she live around the neighborhood? maybe she was scoping the place out as a future hit... weird!

courtney said...

That is totally weird, but such a funny story!

Heath said...

Only in Utah. Anywhere else and you would have been the trophy on your wall. She would've capped ya for sure.